Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Smart A$$ Answers

  1. #1
    AH.FM Addict t4e's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    18,387

    Talking Smart A$$ Answers

    SMART ASS ANSWER #6--

    It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like
    dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my
    choices?' John asked.
    'Yes or no,' she replied.

    SMART ASS ANSWER #5--

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
    his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir,
    I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

    SMART ASS ANSWER #4 --

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
    she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
    ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
    The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

    SMART ASS ANSWER #3 --

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
    rolled down hi s window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop
    said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When
    the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
    ticket.

    SMART ASS ANSWER #2 --

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
    reads, 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
    of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
    Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
    the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
    The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
    gas.'

    SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 -


    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now
    class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

    A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion'?

    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at
    the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

    Two bonus extras:
    A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
    She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?' The clerk says,
    'What denomination?' The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this?
    Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.


    A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
    with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look
    old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The
    husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    He never heard the shot....
    Your signature contains too many lines and must be shortened.

  2. #2
    AH.FM Addict Vicky Wood's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Paracatu, Brasil
    Posts
    14,828


    great stuff
    Weekly Essentials - Mondays 7pm Eastern http://www.facebook.com/weeklyessentialspodcast

  3. #3
    muhahaha
    http://dfx.at/sets/ :: http://myspace.com/dfx_dj

  4. #4
    AH.FM Addict
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    7,912
    my favorite is #3...

  5. #5
    AH.FM Addict Altered-Mind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Zenthetic Realm
    Posts
    42,964
    Smart Ass Answer of 2007 is f*in golden
    My mixcloud page ;) http://www.mixcloud.com/zenaltered/ aka DJ Zenthetix ^^

  6. #6
    AH.FM Addict Junior's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    17,107
    Quote Originally Posted by t4e View Post
    SMART ASS ANSWER #6--

    It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like
    dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my
    choices?' John asked.
    'Yes or no,' she replied.

    SMART ASS ANSWER #5--

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
    his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir,
    I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

    SMART ASS ANSWER #4 --

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
    she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
    ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
    The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

    SMART ASS ANSWER #3 --

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
    rolled down hi s window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop
    said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When
    the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
    ticket.

    SMART ASS ANSWER #2 --

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
    reads, 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
    of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
    Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
    the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
    The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
    gas.'

    SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 -

    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now
    class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

    A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion'?

    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at
    the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

    Two bonus extras:
    A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
    She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?' The clerk says,
    'What denomination?' The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this?
    Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.


    A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
    with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look
    old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The
    husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    He never heard the shot....
    #6,4 and are great stuff.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: Sep 13th, 2009, 16:25
  2. Sean Tyas vs Smart Apes Ft Katie Miles - Seven Week Smile
    By Pye_C in forum Mashups, Remixes & Bootlegs
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Jul 29th, 2009, 16:40
  3. Replies: 17
    Last Post: Mar 2nd, 2009, 04:58
  4. Funny Answers to Questions
    By Tarek in forum Comedy Corner
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Oct 31st, 2008, 00:08
  5. Smart Cars
    By Abominus in forum Mellow Lounge
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: Jan 5th, 2008, 21:02

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •