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Thread: Hurricanes and Other Assorted Bad Weather

  1. #1
    AH.FM Station Cat Become a supporter now The Cat Lady's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    San Antonio, TX

    Hurricanes and Other Assorted Bad Weather

    You know you're from the Gulf Coast when....

    You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

    You have more than a hundred 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.

    Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti-Os.

    You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.

    You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

    You are delighted to pay $5 for a gallon of regular unleaded.

    The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.

    You decide your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.

    You own more than three large coolers.

    You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

    You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back."

    You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.

    Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

    You catch a 13-pound Redfish - in your driveway.

    You can recite from memory whole portions of your home owner's insurance policy.

    At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.

    You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.

    There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

    You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.

    Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your boat.

    Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

    Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.

    Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

    You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.

    You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.

    A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

    You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.

    Your child's first words are "hunker down."

    Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.

    Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.

    You know the difference between the "good side" and the "bad side "of a storm.

    You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

    Please keep those in need in your thoughts and prayers.
    Janet Elaine Lemoncelli Halpin
    December 18, 1935 - March 14, 2017
    I love you, Mom. I will miss you.

  2. #2
    AH.FM Station Cat Become a supporter now The Cat Lady's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    San Antonio, TX
    Hurricane Education: What I've learned during our last hurricane . . .

    1. Coffee and frozen pizzas CAN be made on a BBQ grill.

    2. No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.

    3. My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).

    4. Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.

    5. Cats are even more irritating without power.

    6. He who has the biggest generator wins.

    7. Women can actually survive without doing their hair- you just wish they weren't around you.

    8. A new method of non-lethal torture- showers without hot water.

    9. There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.

    10. TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.

    11. A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours.

    12. There are a lot of dang trees around here.

    13. Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.

    14. Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.

    15. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.

    16. People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.

    17. When required, a Lincoln Continental will float, doesn't steer well but floats just the same.

    18. Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.

    19. Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.

    20. 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!

    21. Hampers were not made to contain such a volume.

    22. If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators... I'd be rich.

    23. Price of a can of soup rises 200% in a storm.

    24. Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.

    25. Tree service companies are under appreciated.

    26. I learned what happens when you make fun of another states' blackout.

    27. MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill ?????

    28. Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's worthless.

    29. I can walk a lot farther than I thought.

    For those of you in the Hurricane Ike hit areas - ***Hope your power is back on!***
    Janet Elaine Lemoncelli Halpin
    December 18, 1935 - March 14, 2017
    I love you, Mom. I will miss you.

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