Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20

Thread: Best Divorce Letter Ever!

  1. #1
    AH.FM Addict Vicky Wood's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Paracatu, Brasil
    Posts
    14,828

    Talking Best Divorce Letter Ever!

    Dear wife:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
    These last 2 weeks have been hell.

    Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

    Your EX-Husband
    P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Ex-Husband

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

    It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

    After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

    I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

    So take care.

    Signed,
    Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.

    I hope that's not a problem.
    Weekly Essentials - Mondays 7pm Eastern http://www.facebook.com/weeklyessentialspodcast

  2. #2
    AH FAN
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    305

  3. #3

  4. #4
    AH.FM Addict Altered-Mind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Zenthetic Realm
    Posts
    42,964
    Muahahahahaha! Carla is reallly a MAN
    My mixcloud page ;) http://www.mixcloud.com/zenaltered/ aka DJ Zenthetix ^^

  5. #5
    I'm Baaaaaaaack!

  6. #6
    AH.FM Addict Tarek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,981
    Oh damn that PS really really sucks..

  7. #7
    AH.FM Addict D_NeU's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,525
    ha haaa
    Madness is like Gravity... all you need is a lil P.u.s.h !!!

  8. #8
    AH.FM Addict Junior's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    17,107
    OWNED!!!

  9. #9
    OMG! Divorce FAIL!
    In pursuit of the perfect mix

  10. #10
    AH.FM Addict Lucas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Bled
    Posts
    62,558
    Hahahaha, really funny thing!
    The Finest Orla Feeney's Polish Fan

  11. #11
    AH.FM Addict SUNNY TOMORROW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Jelena Ostapenko
    Posts
    105,634
    When are they making the movie???
    My Tennis Divas - Agnieszka Radwanska Jelena Ostapenko Garbine Muguruza Sabine Lisicki

  12. #12
    AH.FM Addict scarlett's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Poland
    Posts
    7,190
    OMG

    The ending kills

  13. #13
    AH.FM Addict Miss Glam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    \o/ Texas Bitchezz \o/
    Posts
    30,911
    Women Power!!!
    bring on the mad beatz

  14. #14
    OMG! Hilarious
    Flight 643>>>Destination>>>AH.FM

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Altered-Mind View Post
    Muahahahahaha! Carla is reallly a MAN
    its a shemale

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Game: Change one Letter, Make a New Word!
    By Vanderkay in forum Mellow Lounge
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: May 27th, 2009, 09:44
  2. Looking for Trance Energy letter font
    By malka in forum Music Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Mar 16th, 2009, 00:55

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •