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Winter. A cold, hard, inevitable truth. The unshakable feeling that we might not make it to another summer. Our ancestors faced this feeling each and every year with dread, preparedness, and extreme caution. As they took final stock of their limited food supply, they double checked their blubber stores to make sure they’d at least have CANDLES for God’s sake. I mean, are *candles* too much to ask for?? With the first snow, wooden shacks were buried beneath mountains of pristine white powder. Hibernation began. Yes, winter is and was a tough time. But can we learn to love it? The Bearded Man offers a simple solution - a solution passed down through generation after generation of rich, spoiled douchebags: when life even hints at throwing winter at you, just get on your private jet and head to the other hemisphere. Problem solved. Winter Love is just a few tens of thousands of dollars away!

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