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Thread: If Men Ruled The World

  1. #1
    www.defconrecordings.com Lazarus's Avatar
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    If Men Ruled The World

    Feel free to add your own too if you like

    1. Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your
    call to her real number.

    2. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response
    to "I love you."

    3. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

    4. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd
    appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

    5. Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of
    your choice.

    6. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

    7. "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an
    acceptable excuse for tardiness.

    8. At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your
    window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car
    like Fred Flintstone.

    9. It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned
    helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.

    10. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded
    with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you
    were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the
    place." Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."

    11. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

    12. Garbage would take itself out.

    13. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

    14. Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your
    wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

    15. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur
    in leap years.

    17. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go
    drinking. Mother's Day, too.

    18. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would
    be celebrated every month.

    19. "COPS" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the
    pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.

    20. The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night
    Football from a Different Camera Angle".

    21. The candle shops in the mall would sell candles that smell like whiskey
    and beer.

    22. Women would have to obtain a license before wearing spandex or short
    shorts (sorta like conceal carry laws).

    23. Women suffering from PMS would be required to wear a burka.

    24. Gun racks would be standard on all American cars.

    25. There would be a device that automatically raised and lowered toilet
    seats.

    26. 2007 Cloning Act:"Only Jessica Alba may be cloned."
    New show time: Back From The Dead - Every 1st Monday 1900-2100 GMT (2000-2200 CET, 1400-1600 PST)
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  2. #2
    AH.FM Addict Vicky Wood's Avatar
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    hehe good once Laz
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  3. #3
    haha #26 for sure
    and #10 with the smart ass responses to cops would be fun, they dont tend to get me anywhere right now

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